Why?

Over the past several months, I have made some tough decisions as we packed up to leave California, but I was comfortable with those decisions. After all “things are just things”. I even shared this sentiment with all of you in my post Learning to live without things. I knew that God was guiding me as I made decisions on what to keep and what to toss; and I had then, and still do now, perfect peace over those decisions.

I’ll readily admit that some things were easier to leave behind than others, and I’m sure I stored things I should have dumped—and probably dumped things I should have stored—but I tried to keep my focus on the new life that was ahead for us.

So what happened on Monday, October 17th?

It was time to go get the trailer for our trip and I realized that at least 1/3 of what we had saved to bring with us was not going to fit in the trailer and/or car trunk. How did I react? I became discouraged and angry. Angry with myself for not letting the movers take these things. Discouraged because I was tired, out of time and options and worse ... discouraged because I felt that God had let me down.

My mind raced with ideas and concerns. What would we leave behind? How could we decide at this point? It would mean opening boxes and repacking—something I felt we didn’t have time to do. I also couldn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen. Hadn’t I trusted Him to guide my selections? Hadn’t He opened all the doors during our move, so why close this one? Why? Why? Why?

My attitude didn’t improve when we found out that the local U-Haul dealer’s promises were nothing more than hot air, and the sports trailer wasn’t available. I stood in the kitchen with my stomach in knots while they tried to find the trailer.

I had a major moment of selfish greed when I remembered that the U-Haul folks had promised to either have the sports trailer or one of the smallest box trailers for us. I was greedily thinking this was good because all our stuff would fit in the smallest box trailer. When the guy came back on the phone and told me he hadn’t found the sports trailer, I reminded him of their promise and he said he would check and call me back.

After several more phone calls that became more urgent by the minute, and with my stomach in total knots, I was reaching the panic stage. There wasn’t a small trailer within 100 miles of us, and they had not found the sports trailer.

I stood in the kitchen and asked God why? Why couldn’t they find a trailer for us to use? What if they found one, but it wasn’t available until late Monday night? How would we even begin to pack/re-pack in that short of time? What if we had to delay our leaving—what would the buyer think? Time was our enemy at this point—and so was my heart’s attitude.

Why? Why? Why?

I finally stopped, laid my head on the counter and cried, and that was when I realized why. My heart’s attitude was all wrong. I was holding onto things, and trusting in men—when I should have been trusting in God and holding on to Him. I told God how sorry I was and asked Him to change my heart.

At that moment, I had perfect peace that it would all work out. The phone rang, U-Haul had found the sports trailer just 30 miles up the road. They transferred me to the Davis office, I gave her my info, and we drove up to get the trailer.

We spent the next several hours re-packing several boxes, and made some really tough decisions, but we knew that God was in control and it was all for the best. In the morning, we packed the car with our luggage, the cats and us ... and headed out.

Our trip was smooth and worry and trouble free. The sports trailer was a joy to haul (absolutely perfect size for our small car), and we arrived here in Waldport safe and sound. Tired, but happy, we stopped for a few groceries, got the keys to the house and pulled in the drive. We unpacked the cats, had some supper and unloaded the trunk—in the rain. Our first Oregonian rain. Perfect, absolutely perfect. :)

Even more perfect was the way God changed my heart. Many years ago He changed my heart and showed me His perfect plan of salvation.

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen—Ephesians 3:20,21

My fervent prayer is that God will continue to work on my heart, and that your heart will know His perfect plan for your life.

We Have Arrived!

On Tuesday, the 18th, we left our old place at 7am, and arrived in our new place at 7:45pm. The trailer worked super, the cats did okay, Mac and I shared the driving and all was well. No flat tires, no breakdowns, no accidents. The Lord was very gracious to us. We had good weather, saw beautiful scenery and even drove through a light rain and then fog at the end.

The car and trailer were packed to the hilt, yet we still had to leave things behind that we had hoped to bring with us. It was no biggy, after all they were just things -- and when I have time I'll tell you about my lesson on "things".

So far we've visited our house (trusses should arrive on Tuesday and then it's full steam ahead!), scouted out new places to shop, found a great new "diner", tried 3 different grocery stores, discovered yarn in 2 shops, talked to the stove to see if that would help it work properly (hehehe), signed up for net access, walked on the beach, made friends, met a local author and bought his book -- which he signed for me, stood at Seal Rock and watched with great awe as the waves came crashing in to shore ... and more.

I would love to tell you all that has taken place, but that would take me hours to type -- so it will have to wait until I have more time to read my handwritten journal and then put my thoughts onto this laptop. Now say, there's something interesting ... my handwriting has improved since I've been putting pen to paper instead of typing on keys. LOL!

Okay, time for me to go. We have to head back to the house -- after all the sun has set and the town closes down at 7. hehehe

Watch for more updates and news in the days ahead!

Babbling Away

I've made changes to my life and I'm pleased with them. I'm happier about me. I think this is very good. I wouldn't even be on the puter right now, but Mr. Retired turned it on. I'm glad I'm working on this addiction.

I got up this morning rested and happy, put the coffee on and dove in to "packing". Made phone calls and changed address on most credit cards and magazines. Still have a few magazines to do.

CHASE credit card is NOT done. Idiots! I sit through a 7 minute wait to speak to a rep only to hear a woman advise me (in pigeon English no less!) that her computer was updating and could I possibly call back later. Good things my hands don't fit in the telephone line or she'd be sporting bruises. HA!

OH - really good news. Pat from the food closet came by and took 2 frozen turkeys, loads of canned goods, mixes, jars of sauce, etc. :) :) :) :) :) I'm glad we didn't have to toss it all -- it's bad enough we have to toss the stuff we can't donate or transport.

Yesterday we dropped by the vets to give Dr. Jassar a letter. When he saw us, he came out around the counter and talked to us. Gave us both a big hug and wished us well. We thanked him for the wonderful care he'd given to our cats and handed him the envelope. He was surprised and said thanks ... and gave us both another big hug. He got misty-eyed -- and by then so were we. DRATS!

We've been bear hugged by Jack and Linda, the vet, Dr. Nick, Betty at the grocery store, and several other folks that we know only casually -- and yet our local family hasn't even called to say good-bye. I cannot tell you how much this hurts.

Well, I need to go get in the shower so we can have some lunch. OH - here's a funny ... yes folks, I can babble ... last night we grilled our last steak and when it was time to eat, Mr. Retired looked at me and asked how we were going to do this. hahaha No table, no tv tables ... hehehe ... how do you cut a steak? Stand at the counter? Ick! We have 2 folding chairs left, so we sat in our "to be left behind" chairs in the living room and each used a folding chair as a "table" and ate. This gives a whole new meaning to elegant dining. hehehe

We should be able to finish our packing tomorrow. Then Monday we deliver notes to Dr. Walker and Dr. Carney, pick up trailer and load it. Tuesday we head out before dawn. Wonder if I'll sleep Monday night?

I really will clam up now. Watch for one final update before we hit the road. Not that I'll have much to say ... but like I said, I can babble.

Waxing poetic

The movers came
The movers went
It all went well
'Twas heaven sent

God had His hand
Upon our move
He opened doors
He did approve

We're thankful for
His guiding hand
We'll praise His name
Throughout the land

~Kimberly Andrew © copyright October 13, 2005

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All has gone so very well. We have truly seen God's hand in every step of the way. The movers were done in half the time estimated, and that saved us $$. (happy grins) Yesterday while getting my hair cut, "G" and I were chatting and I mentioned that the only biggy left was donating our old Mazda (217,000 + miles). She asked how much, I said donate, she made a phone call, and a few hours later we signed the title over to her mom and her brother. It's a story worthy of a hanky, and I won't tell someone's else's story, but the Mazda is now with someone who can truly use the car. If you are a praying reader, please remember to pray for "G" and her family -- and especially her brother who is dying of cancer.

The cats are doing well, although BC does not like the empty rooms. We talked to the vet and we can knock BC out with Benedryl, but not Abby. He's concerned that the mix of her age, her weight and her panic at being in the cage could spell disaster with the Benedryl. So ... we are fixing a small box to sit at my feet and she will spend the ride either in my arms or the box (hopefully the box). My arms ache already. Heh!

"I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee."--Psalms 138:1

I hope that your heart sings God's praises. I'm so thankful that mine does.

The Squeamish Society

I admit that the site of a big spider sends me running for something sturdy with which to smack the critter, an old shoe works great on crickets and water bugs, and ants don't have a chance if they try coming into my home. I have, however, been known to catch and release tree frogs when they sneaked in the back door, but there is one creature that the good Lord made that sends me running down the hall with my stomach churning—and that's the gray house mouse!

Now we had such a visitor in our home the past few days. He (she?) managed to chew into my butterscotch and chocolate chip bits, my bag of dough for peanut butter cookies, the packages for blueberry muffins, the box of raisins ... and more. This visitor also managed to enjoy the peanut butter from 4 different traps! Then we got some Victor traps. Nice things, Victor traps. They always get their mouse, and they earn high praise from me.

This afternoon I was packing boxes of glasses and had stepped away from the kitchen. I'm glad I did, because 10 minutes later Mr. Retired came and gave me the good news that the mouse was done for and wouldn't be raiding the pantry again.

“Hurray!”, said I and waddled down the hall to the kitchen to have a look-see. Now as President of the Squeamish Society one would think I had more smarts, but I don't—besides I'm as curious as the next person. I gingerly opened the cabinet and took a good look. Yup, that visitor was done for!

I gleefully asked Mr. Retired how he was going to remove said visitor, and he said, “Carefully.” LOL! Then he suggested that I hold the plastic bag and he would dump the mouse in the bag. Oh no way ... no way at all was I going to be anywhere near that plastic bag. I was, however, more than willing to dig the plastic bag out of the items packed for moving.

At this point Mr. Retired distracted me with chatter about something else and without thinking I opened the zip-lock and held it out. Suddenly I realized what was happening. EEEEEWWWWWWWWW! No way! No way! I tossed the bag to Mr. Retired and scooted clear across the room and stood in the doorway. He unceremoniously dumped the mouse in the bag and asked me to come hold the bag.

I tried. I really did. Honest. My fingers were mere inches from grabbing the top of the bag when I realized there just wasn't any way on God's green earth that I was going to be able to hold that bag without losing my lunch. I backed away shaking my hands and uttering squeamish little sounds. Mr. Retired just shook his head and chuckled. Then he set the bag down on the floor so he could put the trap down. That did it. I practically ran down the hall and refused to come back to the front of the house until that bag was in the trash can outside.

Now that the visitor is gone, I will don some plastic gloves and clean under the sink. Why plastic gloves? Well, it certainly wouldn't do for the President of the Squeamish Society to do something silly like come in contact with the droppings. Just imagine the squeamish sounds I'd make as I ran out of the front door and down the street.

Books, books, books

Yesterday was grand! Got more of the kitchen finished, but I still have one cabinet and the drawers! I'd forgotten the drawers!!!!!!!!! Then late afternoon we headed over to Connie's house where we enjoyed a class reunion with several of Mr. Retired's college buddies. The guys all roomed together and the gals had gone to the same school—so the stories were most interesting. Even the pictures ... especially the candid shots. hehehehehehehehehe

We sampled wine (no shock that I enjoyed the Merlot the best—I find Pinot Noir too delicate for my taste buds), enjoyed great food (I want the recipes!), and most of all had a great time! Kudo's to Dan for organizing everything!

Book News:
With 9 days to go until we move, I thought I'd tell you what I've been reading. :)

• Last to Die by James Grippando rates a 4.5 out of 5.
• Hawke by Ted Bell rates a 2.9 out of 5. I found the main character irritating, wussy, and aggravating!
• Scarecrow by Matthew Reilly rates a 4.8 out of 5. I will be looking for his other books once I get settled.
• Sticks and Scones by Diane Mott Davidson rates a 5 out of 5. Delightful light hearted mystery, solved in the usual Goldie way -- and the recipes are all first rate!
• When the Wind Blows by James Patterson rates a 1 out of 5. Actually that's generous. I didn't finish the book -- dumped it after 5 chapters.

So, what to read next is a big dilemma! I have Lifeguard from Patterson, a couple of older mysteries that I've read before but would enjoy, a Tom Clancy (not sure I have the attention span for his stuff right now), and Map of Bones by James Rollins. Now I'd love to get into Map of Bones but there's the lack of attention span and most importantly, I'm saving it as my treat. It was a birthday present from Mr. Retired and I planned from the beginning to save it and begin reading it once we reach Oregon and things are calm again. I figure I've earned a new James Rollins and want to relax and totally enjoy it.

So I'm back to my original prob -- what to read next. Too bad I packed all my books first thing. *smacks self up side of head*

Update on our visitor: He's clever. He licked the peanut butter off the one trap, and licked enough off the second trap to scoot the peanut butter down a bit, but not far enough to trip the trap and get caught. We need more traps. I sure hope I don't find him as I finish cleaning out the food cabinets!

Just what I need

For the crocheters in the group, there is no hook news because I packed all my crochet stuff and haven't touched a hook in days! :(

What do you need?
Yesterday I needed something special. That's all, just something special. God provided that special something when we received a phone call from 2 very precious folks. We talked, laughed, I got a bit misty eyed ... and Mr. Retired and I both had big grins on our faces afterwards. Hearing their voices was just what we both needed.

This morning we found we had a visitor. It's likely small, and likely gray, and if we meet face-to-face it's more than likely that I'll scream loud enough to wake the dead, (LOL!) yet it's what I need. I think. No, I'm sure. I don't know why, but I guess I need a non-computer mouse in my life right now. Today we will buy traps and hopefully we'll nab this visitor right quick. The trail of evidence shows that it's likely only one visitor, but we'll find out. Of course, now I'm wondering about all the packed boxes and are there visitors in them? :-O

This discovery has solved one dilemma—how much and what food to take with us. Guess I'm only going to take that which is in glass jars or sealed in a plastic Rubbermaid type container. No boxes of pasta, no bags of semi-sweet chocolate chips, no boxes of cake or muffin mix; and definitely not the butterscotch chips I just bought—since those are a favorite of the visitor!

I will now have to wash all the utensils and pots and pans before they are packed, and that's not going to be fun, but still I'm thankful. There was a time when this little invasion would have set me on edge, but I'm finding myself totally content, knowing that for whatever reason God felt I needed a mouse. After all:

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.—Philippians 4:19

He always provides just what I need, it's just that sometimes I don't see it His way. He's ready to provide all you need as well. All you need to do as ask Him.

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Just a small note: I will lose email access today. If you want to leave me a note, this is a great place to do so. You can be anon, or you can sign your initials. It's really the fastest way to contact me these days. Just click the "comment" link.

Unbelievable

During packing breaks I've been calling and shutting down all the utilities and such. All has been going well. Until I got to SBC.

I waded through their "voice mail" where the last question was "what are you calling about". I said "cancel service". The voice said, "Do you mean you wish to disconnect your phone?" I really wanted to strangle the phone and yell at the voice, "No, you idiot, I want to start up service." UGH! I hate voice mail systems with a passion.

Finally I was sent to customer service where I hear another voice say I'm in line as the call volume is heavy, so please wait. Then I get to listen to hideous music. At least it's better than continuous commercials.

So I wait and try not to grind my teeth. I play a game of solitaire, then another game of solitaire. I drink a mug and a half of coffee. I talk to Mr. Retired when he steps in the room. I wait. FINALLY, yes finally I get a rep. Just as she asks to verify my phone number, the battery on the portable starts beeping. *groan* I tell her, that's the correct number and my battery is dying and please hold while I go to the other phone. I walk to kitchen, pick up phone and SHE'S GONE! She hung up on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UNfreakingBELIEVABLE! After wading through voice mail he**, and a 10+ min. wait -- she hung up!!!!!!!!!

Now I get to start all over. Ain't it grand?

Mentally Zapped

You know you are mentally zapped when:

• You put your blouse on inside out and your hubby has to tell you what you've done.
• You walk down the hall with the bottle of BBQ sauce in your hand and are going to put it in the cabinet with your hair conditioner. (Hey! It might work!)
• You go to buy shampoo and conditioner and come home with 2 bottles of conditioner. (Maybe that's why I was ... oh never mind. LOL!)
• You again put your blouse on inside out, and your hubby tells you just as you get to the car to go out dinner—without thinking you start to fix it while standing in the driveway.
• You sit down to crochet, pick up your hook and simply sit there and watch tv instead.
• You sit down to type this list and forget half of what you wanted to tell on yourself. LOL!
  

All is going well. I'm into the kitchen at this stage and it's easier than I thought it would be to dump things. I'm going to have loads of fun replacing old cookie sheets and such.

Back to the salt mines!

We Have Mail

We now have the official address for our house. *huge grins* The mailbox is not yet up at the end of the street, so the mailman delivered the electric bill (contractor pays it) right to the work sight. We will be able to register our car and get our drivers licenses when we arrive (needed that official address), make arrangements for our permanent phone number, and more good stuff. Plus we have our PO Box, so we have a place for folks to write to us while we are renting. :) God has truly blessed this move and all is falling into place.

Yesterday we took the cats on car ride #4, with both of them in their travel carriers. All was well until we walked in the door at home. That's when Abby let loose with the upset stomach. Yeesh. Hopefully she will get used to the car riding before we take off. I'd sure hate to stop every 2 miles and change the towel in her travel carrier.

When the contractor got ready to start on the house he opted to order all the lumber at one time, so everything is ready, but the trusses are in short supply and that's holding up the next stage. Hopefully they will arrive soon.

Today we took the car in to the dealer—one of the headlights was out. When he pulled up our records, discovered the car was due for a maintenance something or other, so we pulled out our coupon book and left the car. We'll get it back tomorrow. This afternoon our local realtor came by to see how things were going here. He brought the contractor who will be upgrading this house for the new owners. It was interesting to listen to them discuss what to do, as most of it was what we would have done had we stayed here. Guess our ideas were okay. *wink, grin*

Today I read this quote:

All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
-- Roy Baty, in "Blade Runner"

It reminded me of the Bible verses that tell us how precious our tears are to God.

Psalms 56:8: Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

Psalms 126:5: They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Revelation 7:17: For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

Revelation 21:4: And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I think God must have a rather large bottle holding my tears, for I have shed many in my lifetime; yet I also have seen Him take my sorrow and tears and turn them to joy. Someday, He shall wipe all my tears away and I shall never again fear or be sad or hurt. What a joyous day that will be.

I hope that if you are going through rough times, you remember that God cares enough for you to collect all your tears and save them. Why? Because you are precious to Him, and so are your tears and sorrow. Let Him put His arms around you and comfort you.

Jonquil's and grandma

Hook News:
The new afghan is coming along. I have 8 rows completed and have bumped into the same puzzle I always bump into with afghans. The starting chain was 36-inches, the first row was 36.5-inches, but now that there is some real body to the afghan it measures 39-inches. I don't know why this happens. I know the answer is rooted in math and/or science somewhere, but I don't remember enough from school to solve this mystery. I'd sure like to know the where and why so I could fix this for the future.

Crook News:
Mr. Retired and I are both battling colds. His is worse because it causes his asthma to flare. You might remember us in your prayers.

Yesterday we picked out the house colors. :) The official names are: Jonquil for the main house color (the color is hidden in the mid-yellow/gold in this picture of jonquil's), and Morning Sun for the trim. The colors remind me of my grandma.

Grandma J. was out here visiting, and I had some daffodil and jonquil bulbs to plant. Not having a green thumb, I asked grandma (who could grow anything!) for help, and she and I went out back and dug in the planter box. We took out rocks, and broke the soil up with our hands. Now I was going to use the small garden spade and fork to do the job, but grandma said gardening was a “hands on and personal” project. Once the soil was tilled to her satisfaction, we used our fingers to make the holes, planted the bulbs, talking to them as we did, and then lightly watered the garden. Every morning while she was here, she went out and watered those bulbs and talked to them. A few months later I had the most glorious bed of daffodils and jonquils I've ever seen. I took pictures and sent them to her. I have always thought of this as “Inez' garden”. I followed her instructions on removing the bulbs and over the years I have enjoyed planting and growing “Inez' garden”. It's one of the few things that I've ever been able to grow. So every time I look at my new home, I will think of grandma.

This afternoon we will be working on fixing the printer. After 11 years, it's decided to retire itself. We sure would have liked it to continue to work for another few months at least, as we have things that must be printed. Maybe we can get one of those cheapy inkjet things at CompUSA. I saw one for $29 a few weeks ago. Who cares if it only prints for 100 or so copies? That would be all we needed. Well, it will work out, I'm sure.

This evening we are having dinner with our friends, Dave and Shirley. We've known them for, gosh, 29 years—maybe 30. I can't remember exactly when we met. Over the years we've shared dinners, evenings of laughter and fun, tears, sorrows, church and more. We don't see each other as much as we used to—mostly my fault for not reaching out as I should have—but we are still friends and it will be nice to have dinner together one final time.

Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

I hope that amongst those you count a friend is the One who sticks closer than a brother.